Former Indian cricketer Robin Uthappa opened up about his struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts. The former cricketer revealed how he went through some of the lowest points in his life and opened up on how he felt ‘worthless’ and ‘ashamed’. The 38-year-old cricketer shared a video on his YouTube channel which was titled ‘Overcoming Depression and Suicidal Thoughts’. In the video, he spoke at length about how depression affected him and the thoughts he had that came along with it.
The cricketer who played for India from 2006 to 2015 said, “I have personally been there and I know it is not a pretty journey. It is very challenging, It is debilitating, It is exhausting and it is heavy. That is how it feels, it feels burdensome. I have often felt when I was going through clinical depression as a burden on myself, forgetting the people around me, I felt a burden onto myself. Just going through life in a way that was far from where I wanted to be and I had no answers.”
Uthappa added, “You feel like you are worthless, you feel like you are a burden to the people you love. You feel hopeless and every step feels heavier and heavier and heavier. With every step you take more is being added to you. I went through months of not wanting to get out of bed. I remember in 2011 I went the entire year so ashamed of who I had become as a human being that I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror.”
Talking about the reasons one suffers from depression, Uthappa said, “It could be because of a particular experience. It could be because of something not going your way, It could be because of a relationship, it could be because of multiple relationships, it could be because of not being aligned with what your true purpose is in life.”